Tuesday 11 January 2011

Positives all present and correct.

Today I was made mindful, by another blogger, that we should count our 'blessings', so I decided to stop for a bit and to actually think about that.
A lot of what goes on in the world is relative, and is beyond most of us actually influencing in any meaningful way. We all know of the suffering of millions of children/homeless/diseased/orphans/disabled/poor/disadvantaged/abused/dis-this or dis-that.
There's the charity angle, but is that just a conscience satisfying act that keeps the real issues far from us actually thinking about it in detail? It's easier to say "I gave" and we feel better. Probably more about ourselves than the thought of what good our £5 or £10 will actually do on the ground. I admire the volunteers far more than the person that gives a large amount of money.

So...........I got to thinking that maybe simply "counting ones blessings" can actually do some good. If we stopped to think, and that thought process changed the way we treated someone/spoke/behaved, or made us not do something, or not complain to an extent that it made someone else's day better or at least not as bad, then we have achieved something......right? This would not be a random act of kindness, because it would be an active informed decision.

When I actually started counting my 'blessings' I realised how many I really had, in no particular order...........
My son..........simply wonderful. Loving, caring, funny..............I love and admire him so much there are not the right words in the English language, or any other ......... His health is another positive.
My health.............OK so I could lose a few pounds, but I have stopped smoking and I can ignore aches and pains and the results of a lot of rugby and karate and other sports over the years, as well as bodily abuse through alcohol, (current but only social so no problem and never has been), tobacco, (given up and hope to stay so), and recreational drugs, (not current and many years ago now), none of them ever to excess but thought I would fess up and acknowledge the truth. There are no real problems health wise.
I have a job. I get paid for my work. I get paid pretty well for my work.
I have a roof over my head. It's a pretty good home. It is a sanctuary. It is warm and dry. My bed is in it.
I have a car. The car gets us from A to B safely.
I have friends. Not as many as I would like, but hey, there is someone I can always call. They are all wonderful human beings.
I have wonderful family. I forgive the ones that did us harm or heartache, but the forgiveness is for us, not them.
We eat and drink. We eat and drink well. Sadly, we take it for granted.
Wow, the more I write about one thing another 3 or 4 come to mind!
So that I do not drone on...........it is probably suffice to say that we have ALL we need and most of what we want.
We do not have any major stress or calamity in our lives.
We can be aware of the gifts around us. We can pretty much say for certain that you’re in front of a computer. We also guess that you can read, which sets you apart from two billion people in the world who cannot. So already you can tally opportunities you have that not everyone can claim.
Look around at your surroundings, your own body included. What can you add to your list? You might mention such joys as comfortable clothing, good health, satisfying work, or a home to call your own. And what beyond your immediate surroundings: nourishing food, faithful friends, spiritual moorings? You may even discover less obvious positives; for instance, a difficult relationship forces you to mature, or deep distress over violence spurs you to spread peace. The more aware I am, the more astonished I grow at the extent of my good fortune. I did some detailed research then...........

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following.
There would be:
  • 57 Asians
  • 21 Europeans
  • 14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
  • 8 Africans
  • 52 would be female
  • 48 would be male
  • 70 would be non-white
  • 30 would be white
  • 70 would be non-Christian
  • 30 would be Christian
  • 89 would be heterosexual
  • 11 would be homosexual
  • 6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.
  • 80 would live in substandard housing
  • 70 would be unable to read
  • 50 would suffer from malnutrition
  • 1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth
  • 1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education and 1 would own a computer
When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for both acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.
The following is also something to ponder... If you woke up this morning with more health than illness... you are more fortunate than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or wrath... you are more fortunate than three billion people in the world, about 60% of the world population.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep... you are richer than 75% of this world.

If your parents are still alive and still married... you are very rare, even in the United States and Canada.
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful... you are fortunate because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can read this message, you are more fortunate than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
We're a fortunate group of people.........................

Am I taking it too far? Dunno. But I am amazed of what reading a simple phrase on someone else's blog made me think about.
I can recognise the abundance present in my life, and find myself cheered and will remember during a dark time. Strangely, it does make me suddenly sad to realise that I have so much when others have so little. Not that I am going to feel undeserving, or be paralysed by guilt. As I said, it is all relative but our worlds and life's inequalities put me in a position to practice thanks for what I have got as opposed to moaning about what I haven't, even if only for today, but now I have written it I can go back for a reminder.

OK so I could do with a 'soul-mate' and a wonderful life companion, but that is more down to my being scared at the thought of another long term partner, as well as consideration for Callum, and I am wise enough and realistic enough to know that being balding, slightly overweight, pushing 50 with a young son at home makes me quite low on the "catch" list, and a pretty unattractive proposition for most women, faced with much younger and better looking propositions with better prospects. I am strangely liberated and reconciled in the knowledge and honesty that I am simply not the "attractive to women" type of bloke. I have made very poor choices with my "love life" and maybe I just aint no good at it.
Besides that I had most of what esteem and confidence I ever had kicked out of me last time. Hahahahaha.

Anyway............I digress away from 'blessings' into the realm of self pity, must not, as I am largely content, and despite some things Callum is too. Contentment it seems to me lasts far longer than "happy", whatever that is. Happiness always seems fleeting, or a collection of moments, as opposed to contentment being a more lasting element.
My apologies for such a long, and probably boring blog entry.
I have counted my positives, I hope properly, and I am.........well.............fortunate.

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