Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Day 4 of the 30 day song challenge - A song that makes you sad

Blimey this is a really difficult one..................So many songs that have a connection to something sad, either personally or anecdotal or global events.

But it has to be a track from Coldplays X&Y which was a huge album for me as it was out at the time my ex-wife first left me and the kids for an "alternative" life in 2005. It became the soundtrack to the beginning of the end for a marriage, and shattered the lives of two wonderful little children, and heralded five years of immense change and pain that altered things forever.
Being a huge Coldplay fan I bought the album straight away. I shall always remember driving from Winchester, where we lived then, to Bournemouth to visit good friends I hadn't seen for a while and who invited us down to relieve the agony if only for a day.

The children both fell asleep within 10 minutes and I listened uninterrupted. It amazed me that almost the entire album matched the situation for both me and my then wife. Lyrically it really hit home, and I spent almost the entire journey driving through tears. Of course there are many albums or tracks that feel like they fit the circumstances at the time, but this track and the album really did. So the whole album is now forever tinged with sadness for me and I could choose one of several tracks, but one epitomises my thoughts at that early stage, that, as when I met my ex, I thought I could help fix her problems, fix the past the present and the future, and fix her. What I didn't know or accept what I know now is that it was all beyond repair, and that although I adored her and valued our marriage the feeling from day one was never mutual, and that ultimately it was all doomed from the start, but at least I had to do all I could to rescue the kids from it all somehow and that I could at least fix that, and try to fix myself later. I think I achieved the former.

So..........the track has to be "Fix you", as I can hardly get past hearing the first verse so I guess that qualifies for sad!

2 comments:

  1. It's a killer for me too. I remember Rick came home from one of his month long benders, absolutely destroyed. It was one of the many times I tried to end it, he sat in my arms and cried.

    This song just happened to be on in the background... I will never forget that moment, so apt! Needless to say I carried on regardless for a little while longer!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's the thing isn't it? That "crying in the arms" thing and the "sorry", cos you beleive, really really want to believe too that things will change in your heart, but your head is screaming "Noooooo"

    ReplyDelete